A little less tech, a lot more talk..
So for the last couple months my husband and I have been working on something that we know would strengthen our marriage.
A little less tech and a lot more talk....
Just before we moved into our new house, I came to the realization that so much of our days are spent absorbed in technology. And too little of our day's are spent having actual conversations.
Some of you are shaking your heads thinking "not me, not my family." And some of you are actually transparent enough to realize it yourself. Some of you do something to make a change, and some of you accept what this world has come to in terms of communication.
I mean my husband would get home from work, and we would sit on our couch for 40 minutes and have a conversation of 3 words with each other.
Inside that same 40 minutes, I would write a big caption on a photo that I posted on instagram... I would check all of my facebook notifications and scroll down the facebook newsfeed for minutes at a time, I could have changed my facebook profile picture, and then sat watching as people hit the like button. Checked my email, both work and personal, scrolled through my instagram newsfeed and hit the like button several times, commenting here and there as well. Notice I have a text from my brother, sister, friend ect and I would open it up and spend a couple seconds responding. Oh another person liked my photo so I'd go back to instagram, or facebook to check the notification.
All inside that same 40 minutes where my husband and I said a total of 3 words to each other. I was to busy getting "connected" through social media/technology that my husband and I's relationship was actually becoming disconnected.
When you sit in a room with your spouse, share a couch for 40 minutes and you have only shared 3 words to each other, eventually what you realize is how pathetic your communication has gotten.
The biggest thing in a marriage is to have good communication.
Not communication expressed by using your finger tips and a keyboard, but communication using your voice through your mouth.
When was the last time you layed in bed and just talked to your spouse for a good hour?
When was the last time you both cooked together in the kitchen?
When was the last time you talked about anything other than what facebook, instagram ect said today.
When was the last time you left your phone in another room!
That was a question I asked myself, I mean after that realization about having 40 minutes with my husband and literally no words were shared, I began to ask myself these questions.
The biggest question was when the last time I left my phone in another room.
I mean, I had my phone on my constantly, I would go to bed with it beside me and wake up with it there. I spend more time with my phone then I did my husband.
Want to hear my lame a** excuse....
"I need my phone in the bedroom because it has my alarm on it."
Did you know there are actualy alarm clocks that exist?
After realizing all this, I decided that when we moved into our new house I would make an effort and spending a little less time with technology and a lot more time actually talking to my husband.
So for starters, I found an alarm clock that I could use in our bedroom, so goodbye cellphone!
Every night before bed, I plug my phone in the kitchen and leave it there.
Can you believe it, I can still wake up with an actual alarm clock- I never really needed my phone in the room.
PS doing this not only allows you to have more conversations with her husband, but trust me you'll have more sex to.
God designed marriage between a husband and wife to be fun and exciting but you can't have that when you've got the world of facebook, instagram and all your contacts sitting on a side table beside your bed.
When my husband and I got for walks, I leave my phone.
It's crazy to think you can actually go places and do things, and still function without being "connected" all the time.
In fact we have become more connected since doing so.
When we watch a movie, we leave our phones upstairs. (the occasion we will have them with us if we are expecting a call or important text)
I've realized that life is made up of moments, and we only have them for a moment. Then they are in the past, and just memories. How many moments do you let pass you by because your eyes are fixated on a screen.
I realized that it can all wait. When my husband is home from work, I want to be with him. The emails, the notifications, the newsfeeds they can all wait.
And by doing this, and really practicing it. I have totally felt closer to my husband, we have had actual conversations, we have spent more time truly together.
So for other couples out there, I dare you to try this.
Give technology a little less of your time and give your spouse a little more of your time.
Leave your phone outside of the bedroom.
Believe me, you will see how much a difference this all makes in your marriage.
Cheers to a new year!