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First Year

The first year of marriage....

Most would say is the worst year, they will tell you once you get through the first year you can get through anything.

But they never tell you how to get through the first year, they warn you and freak you out if I must be honest, but rarely do they tell you how to get through to the winning side. At least that is what it was like when my hubbs and I got married.

I had this thing in my head like I wanted to prove everyone wrong, everyone who told me that the first year of marriage was going to SUCK I wanted to come out of the first year of marriage and tell them they were wrong.

Our first year of marriage didn't entirely suck. It was a huge learning curve more than anything. Not that after the first year of marriage you stop learning, heck no to that, we are always learning as we navigate through this adventure.

But the first year of marriage was a new season that we had both never been in before, how are we supposed to know how to navigate together when we are two different people with different expectation's and routines.

You don't just know how to work together in harmony when you move in together, it is a learning process of many ups and downs.

So how do you get through the first year of marriage?

1) Always remember why you married your spouse, sometime's we might forget that one reason why he/she was the one- and this makes a world of a difference in the way you treat them by remembering why you fell in love in the first place.

2) When you like something done a certain way, step back from the routine you have been in for your whole life, because your about to create new routines... TOGETHER.

3) Get rid of all your expectation's because if you realize it or not you are setting yourself and your spouse up for failure when you have expectations.

4) Date each other. Go on dates, even if it's a bon fire in your backyard just the two of us, to have a good first year of marriage you need to continue to date each other.

5) Finances... You HAVE to be on the same page as each other when it comes to finances and your budget. Something my husband and I regret is not having a "budget book" in our first year of marriage. It was just after our first year when we decided to do a budget book/binder. Let me tell you it has helped so incredibly much with being on the same page as each other when it comes to our finances because we have this book that we can look at to keep us on track. Believe it or not finances really do impact your marriage and your relationship with your spouse. So our advice would be to make a budget book TOGETHER!

6) Hangout with couples who have what you want. This is huge, you need to have a group of people who are good influences on your marriage. Hangout with couples who have a marriage that you desire and long for.

7) Don't get to busy with extra activities. Our first year of marriage was kind of busy, my husband played soccer and volleyball and I played volleyball as well. With all the sports and two family dinners every week we found it difficult to have those "just us" nights. You need to have those nights alone just you and your spouse and as your schedule becomes full especially with sepereate activites from each other it can cause a lot of unwanted stress. Mind you I think it is good to have something that you do on your own without your spouse just be careful with how busy your schedule gets.

Those are just 7 different pieces of advice that we would give for all your first year of marriage's out there. Don't get scared when people tell you it is the hardest year, for some it really isn't. Just remember that you are new on this journey and it takes someone thousands of time's to become and expert at something. So just DON'T GIVE UP. There is light at the end of tunnel, just keep holding hands, and pushing through!