Arguing vs Discussion

Arguing is trying to prove who is right and who is wrong.

A discussion is: "The action or process of talking about something, typically in order to reach a decision or to exchange ideas."

Just the other night my husband came up to me and said honey, you know that when we argue we are just trying to prove who is right and wrong.

Where instead of choosing to argue we could just choose to have a "discussion." Because a discussion is just talking about something and reaching a decision together.

Wow, I have an incredibly smart husband.

After he said this, it wasn't talked about a whole lot, other than deciding that next time instead of choosing an argument we are to choose a discussion with each other.

And then the subject was changed and we went about our night.

It was a crazy realization for me, as I am still thinking about it today. How many arguments have we had in our 2 years of marriage that some have never ended because we think we are both right and can't come to a middle ground.

How many tears have shed because of heated arguments of proving our selves.

And then it got me thinking back to a sermon I listened to when the pastor spoke... "Is your desire to be right, more than your desire to be loving?"

WOW.

As soon as we start an argument with our spouse, we are expressing just that, that our desire to be right is MORE than our desire to be loving.

And what is a marriage built on? God's love. Therefor we are to be loving.

So the moment we choose an argument is the moment we go behind the sole purpose of marriage, and have you noticed that arguments cause a lot of stress, confusion, anger and rebellion into a marriage. That is because the desire to be right is not of God. That is why all that crap comes along side, hand in hand with an argument.

Where a discussion is what God has given us husband's and wive's, the ability to talk things through. The ability to come to a decision TOGETHER hand in hand, in love.

This has been pretty heavy on my heart the last week, and wanted to share it with you. It is one of the most simpilist things, a decision that we just need to make.

Are we to have an argument right now, or are we going to choose to have a discussion?

Ask yourselves that the next time you are in a situation where a decision between an argument and a discussion has arose.

And remember, your desire should be to be loving. Not right.

That will help you with coming to a decision together.